The divorce process can be very difficult. However, it will end and when it does, you will be in a position to start a new chapter. If you hope to make this chapter more peaceful than the last, you should know that there are steps you can take to make this happen.
This is especially important if you are a parent who wants to peacefully raise your children with your ex. Below are some suggestions for how you can set the stage to parent peacefully after a difficult divorce.
It starts with the plan
During a divorce, parents create a parenting plan. These plans set schedules, denote decision-making authority and establish methods for resolving disputes. They can also include supplemental materials and direction.
You can use this plan to create a peaceful parenting arrangement. You can do this by:
- Setting clear expectations and boundaries
- Noting any non-negotiable terms
- Keeping the focus on your child’s needs
- Providing direction on matters like communication and parenting priorities
When your parenting plan accomplishes these goals, there can be fewer instances of conflict. As such, it is crucial to take your time and think carefully about how you craft this plan.
Separate the parent from the spouse
Your ex may not have been a good partner. Maybe you both fought all the time or one of you was unfaithful. Perhaps you felt he or she was manipulative, dismissive, mean or uncommitted.
However, he or she may not be this way as a parent. As a parent, your ex may be loving, dependable, supportive and protective. And even if he or she falls short in some areas, this person likely truly loves the children you share.
Focusing on your ex as a parent allows you to make decisions that are in your child’s best interests. When you can do this, you can avoid unnecessary stress and conflict as you move past being spouses and focus on being parents.
It can be difficult to parent peacefully after a difficult divorce. However, by creating a solid parenting plan and looking at your ex strictly as a parent, you can make it a little easier to transition into your new arrangement peacefully.